Every year for my birthday I like to reflect on what I’ve learned over the past year. I think it’s a good way to look at how far I’ve come, and re-ground myself in what’s important to take with me into the future.

You are the keeper of your value

The single most valuable thing that I’ve learned this year is that you decide your own value. I used to think that if someone didn’t see value in me that it was a reflection of fact. It led to my being unaccepting of any level of rejection, criticism, or difference in opinion. Now, I’ve come to realise that you are the single most knowledgeable person about you. You live with yourself all day every day, know the ins and outs of your own thoughts, and decide each of your actions. This makes you the most qualified person to determine your own value, and stand by that decision despite others’ interpretations.

Education doesn’t make you better than someone; it makes you privileged

I’m definitely one of those people that gets annoyed when something’s spelled wrong. But I’ve not fully appreciated the privilege of my education. I went to good schools, had amazing teachers, and gained so much because of it. But there’s still so much that I don’t know - that doesn’t make me less than someone, or more than someone who doesn’t know what I know. It’s all relative.

A haircut is worth the money

This is one of those lessons I’ve really learned a few times now, and somehow keep going back to cheap haircuts. But now I’m 100% certain that paying the high price for a haircut is worth it. Growing out a bad cut takes too long!

It doesn’t hurt to try; the worst that can happen is failure

I can’t lie - I’m still pretty afraid of failure. So this one was big for me. But I fall into the trap of assuming the answer will be no before I even ask the question. I try to catch myself at that moment of assumption and just try - learn a new skill, ask a question, vouch for my opinion, whatever it may be!

People will notice and judge but it doesn’t matter

I used to live by the idea that it didn’t matter how you looked or what you did, because people were so absorbed in their own lives they didn’t have time to notice. This is still true sometimes! But when you trip on the sidewalk, it’s likely someone driving past saw and had a little laugh. When you wore that bold outfit, someone might have thought it was silly and pointed it out to their friend. But what does it really matter? You’re still going to go about your day, you’re not any less fantastic of a person, and everyone will move on with their lives whether you’re wearing sweats or a feather boa.

Check in with yourself

Checking in every so often to make sure that you’re working towards your goals, living life the way you’d like, and generally keeping in line with where you are aiming to be is helpful in making forward progress.

Not every pan is made for every stove

How did I not know this? When I moved here, I had my first induction stove and couldn’t figure out why I was wrecking pans when I never had before. They were lasting months, not years. Then, during a trip to the store to replace them, I noticed a label claiming a pan was for (or not for) induction top use. Mind. Blow. My pans are now long-lasting. The relief that it wasn’t me this whole time is strong.

It’s easy to become comfortable in discomfort

Essentially, familiarity doesn’t equal safety. One of the biggest questions I had as a kid was why adults stayed in jobs that they absolutely loathed, even though there were so many jobs out there and you spend most of your life working. It seemed like a no-brainer to place emphasis on finding a job and environment that you, personally vibed with and that surrounded you with good people. Now I’ve got that answer: it’s easy to continue with what you know, what you’re used to. But sometimes that puts blinders on us and we have to force ourself out of the familiarity to get some perspective and decide if we’ve become comfortable in discomfort. And then do something about it!

Not why me - because me

Rather than victimisation, it’s possible to switch your mindset from wondering why something is happening to you, to allowing it to be leverage for growth and opportunity.

You can lock yourself IN your house

Obviously most of us have locked ourselves out of the car or house at some stage in our lives. But, have you ever locked yourself IN your house? No, just me? Our hall door got stuck, so we were locked into our living room trying to use things from the kitchen to pry our way out. Here, instead of deadbolts, the key is left in the lock; so no one could come over with a spare key or even pick the lock! Plus, we live on the 4th floor. Definitely the least comforting lesson I’ve learned this year.

Sometimes the only way to learn something is time, distance, & perspective

Time heals and teaches. No matter how hard you try to see the good in something or learn from it, there’s times when the only way to really get the full benefit is to wait it out and reflect back once you’re in a different place.

Growth is on the other side of fear

Very few genuinely rewarding things are easy the first time, like flying a long distance by yourself or trying an adrenaline sport. But once you force yourself past that barrier of fear there’s typically a great reward, as well as a feeling of success, on the other side.

Phone storage is worth the money

Another thing that’s worth the money? Storage on your phone! I hated that moment when there was a perfect photo opp and the “no memory left” message popped up. It ruined more than one occasion! Splurging on the memory was 110% worth it!

What’s something you’ve learned this past year?

2019: Things I've Learned