22 Things I Learned During 22
How is 23 here already? I started off 22 struggling, but ended up having such a great year. I got to reconnect with family, make new friends, and travel. I watched my best friend get married, spent time with family when it was needed most, and returned home to Ireland for more adventures. So now, as a I sit with a warm drink and the rain pattering on the window (it is Ireland in the summer, after all), I reflect on the past year and all of the new lessons I've learned.
If you want some amazing music to listen to while you read, I highly suggest you tap play below.
1. Make a happy list. Make a list of things that feed your soul. Check in regularly. What makes you feel your absolute best? Drawing, reading, cooking, going on walks, writing letters to friends? Whatever it is, take note of these moments when you're at your peak and make sure to do these activities more than just once in a while.
2. Give second chances. Often times I get a little too involved in protecting myself and I'm quick to shoot something down if it isn't working out for me. This can be people, places, or even things. But this year I've really learned to give things second chances with a fresh point of view. Letting go of what it was that made me wary in the first place and opening myself up again. Sometimes, things just don't work out the best the first time around for whatever reason.
3. Life is grey. I don't mean life is dull or boring. I just mean that it's not always such a defined black and white situation. I always used to think that there was a right and a wrong. What I didn't consider was the in between. There is so much variation out there for every situation, and I've learned that it's okay to be in that grey area.
4. Learn People's Stories. Young and old, people have some pretty wild tales to tell. Devote some of your time to asking people questions about themselves. There's some pretty incredible stories out there.
5. Failure is Not Trying. I'm not even going to attempt to say it better, you can watch the video below to see what I mean!
6. Nothing lasts forever. Good or bad. So enjoy the highs and don't take them for granted. Appreciate the lows because they make the highs feel so much better, and don't give up. Make the most of the lack of permanence in life.
7. Compare Less. Ooooh lord, the Instagram envy is real. But it's utterly critical to remember that every person only puts their best out there. That's why celebrity breakups seem out of the blue and everyone online seems to lead the perfect life. Do your best. And I really mean that. Do the absolute best that you can with what you have in life at any given moment. Enjoy inspiration online but don't make it your end all be all.
8. Find the humour. Sometimes sh*t hits the fan. But once it's hit, there's really not much you can do but handle the situation and laugh. I've been in so many scenarios where I could've really let something ruin my day. Instead, I made an adventure of it. Or laughed it off. There's that moment at the very beginning of things turning where you can get in a huff or crack a smile. It's up to you to make that choice.
9. Check In & Detox. If you're not feeling great mentally, check in. What's making you happy? What's not? Cleanse the things in your life that aren't providing something positive. Sometimes, this just means a really thorough social media detox! If you're annoyed with what someone is posting or their content just doesn't fit in with your life anymore, it's okay to unfollow.
10. Work on yourself. Set your pride aside and get to work. Be self critical. What things do you, personally, not love about yourself? How can you improve them? If you get criticism from others, don't take it as a personal attack but as an opportunity to grow. Make an actual action plan that you can check in against at a later date.
11. Do things for others. Think of ways that you could put a smile on someone's face. Bring your coworker their favourite drink. Send someone a letter. Text a family member you don't contact often. Making other people happy is one of the best medicines.
12. Share your experiences. I think sometimes we're so scared to be different and be judged for it that we often cheat ourselves out of the best support system we could have. But letting the people around you know what you're going through is a great way to find others who are having similar experiences. If you can't find them in person, go online to find your community. It's so much better to go through something feeling like you're not alone.
13. Stop putting things off. If you drive past the same spot and want to check it out every time but never do, just do it! This year I've stopped waiting. If I want to do something, I do it. I've visited different places, booked a last minute vacation, and joined a gym. I tried eating different food and picked up a paintbrush again. It's so satisfying to do the things that are always in the back of my mind.
14. You are in control of your life. This has been one of the most rewarding lessons to learn. No one else is in control. Just you. If something isn't going the way you want it, it's up to you to fix it. You're in charge of your happiness, it's not anyone else's responsibility.
15. Limit expectations. The world has completely opened up to me when I limit my expectations. When I go into something with no preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, I can only be surprised with my experience. Most of the time it's a delighted surprise when it ends up going well. Wanting everything to be perfect only lets you down in the end because "perfect" can take such a specific set of requirements that usually don't play out in the real world. Let the moment define perfection, not perfection define the moment.
16. Be less judgmental. Judgment is a very internal lesson. But I think it's just as important as any other. Catch yourself when you're being judgmental and put a stop to it. Most of the time, what you're judging doesn't even affect your own personal life, so let it go and replace the thought with a nice one. It'll make you feel a lot less miserable.
17. First attempts are not indicative of success. I'm a tiny bit of a perfectionist. I want to be the best I can be at everything I try right away, and that's just not how it works a good majority of the time. Perfection takes time, practice, and hard work. I've learned to not be let down or give up after my first try.
Here's where I'm going to break off and finish this post with 5 things I have learned from living with my long-term partner for 2 years.
18. Your taste will not always be the same. I mean this literally and figuratively. There's nights where we both have something different for dinner because we like different foods, and most of our apartment is furnished & decorated with items that one person or the other has compromised on. It's okay to like different things; it actually broadens your experience (and who knows, you might learn to love something new!)
19. No one is in charge of the household. It always felt like those traditional roles of women cooking and cleaning and men earning were how things are done. But keeping a household together has shown me that it's not only yours or theirs, it's an equal responsibility.
20. Alone time is important. You'll have a lot of time to see each other. Mornings, evenings, and weekends. Eventually that novelty wears off and you realise you need to have some space. And not in a "we're taking a break" kind of way. But in the sense that if you see each other every second you're home, you never really end up with those quiet moments to yourself that help maintain your sanity. Building in time here and there to choose activities in different rooms some evenings is a must.
21. Learn love languages. People have different ways of expressing and processing love. If you've never read up on love languages, I highly suggest you check out Gary Chapman's website. It'll help you know what you & your partner need the most and how to provide that. Trust me, it's useful.
22. Plan time away. It gets really easy to always stay home. You don't have to go on date nights when you have dinner together every night. But it's nice to have that special time out just the two of you to break up the routine and re-introduce some romance.
What have you learned on this turn around the sun? I'd love to read through your lessons in the comments so I have some focuses for the new year!